I am not a party guy.

I am literally that guy that can’t even get laid at a sex party. Normal parties (read: non-sex) are even worse because at least there is something to watch at orgies.

Now, I was invited to a really great party last night being hosted by the VERY lovely BadInfluenceGirl and I sat in the corner, twittering about how i’m not talking to anyone and generally just being the creepy guy that is, well, creepy.

Believe it or not, I am PAINFULLY shy. Especially with “normal” people. Put me in a room full of freaks and I am a bit better but not much. I stutter, make inappropriate comments trying to be funny and have a BAD habit of showing people my cock. And that’s just at family parties…

Now, I knew at the time of invite that it was not “one of those kinda parties”, however, deep in my teenaged boy libido, I guess I was hoping it would become one of those type of parties…you know, the right combination of people, vibe, booze and time and then magic happens. Hey, don’t judge! It happens all the time in movies, especially porno.

And the people at this party were beautiful…girls of remarkable beauty and boys built like stone walls…not a wonder I was perving, quietly, on everyone in the room.

But, aye, there’s the rub.

SHOULD I have been perving, even quietly? Like I said, it wasn’t THAT kind of party and almost all the people there were not THOSE people. Am I so conditioned in sexual environments that I am incapable of turning it off, even for a couple hours? Or am I even more hopeless than I thought and I truly am beyond help and a menace to society?

But, DAMN, BadInfluenceGirl looked so yummy in that clingy dress…