My ex-OSO and I broke up somewhere around a year ago.

We talked a few times at the beginning of the year but for my own
reasons, I can’t have any contact with her if we aren’t together. We
burn so hot when we are together, explode like a nuke when we fight
and then burn out so quickly. It is a pattern that has repeated itself
over and over again with a 12 year gap without contact at one point.

Today is her birthday and it is taking a huge amount of effort to not
message her and say Happy Birthday. It is taking an even larger effort
not to call her and tell her I still love her.

How long will i crave her?